Locations

We have 5 locations around the Bay Area in addition to offering telehealth sessions anywhere in the world. We offer in-office and outdoor therapy appointments as well as telehealth and Neurofeedback at our locations. Our providers can also come to your location for sessions, workshops, or educational events.

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Los Gatos

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Fremont

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Sacramento

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Santa Cruz

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Mill Valley

Adults & Teens

Heal, grow, and realize your optimal self

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Addiction & Trauma

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Mood & Impulse Control

9

Neurofeedback

Couples & Families

Transform your relationships from survive to thrive

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Couples Counseling

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Neurodiverse Relationships

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Parenting

9

Blended Families

9

Supervised Visitation

Groups & Workshops

Experience the power of social learning and growth

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Neurotypical Partner Group

9

ISM Dialogue Group

9

Communications Workshop

9

Momentum Life Group

9

Engaging Christianity Group

Get help using our Treatment Planner

We Help With

Adults & Teens

Heal, grow, and realize your optimal self

9

Addiction & Trauma

9

Mood & Impulse Control

9

Neurofeedback

Couples & Families

Transform your relationships from survive to thrive

9

Couples Counseling

9

Neurodiverse Relationships

9

Parenting

9

Blended Families

9

Supervised Visitation

Groups & Workshops

Experience the power of social learning and growth

9

Neurotypical Partner Group

9

ISM Dialogue Group

9

Communications Workshop

9

Momentum Life Group

9

Engaging Christianity Group

Get help using our Treatment Planner

Locations

We have 5 in-person offices around the Bay Area in addition to offering telehealth sessions anywhere in the world. Our providers can also come to your location for sessions, workshops, or educational events.

9

Los Gatos

9

Fremont

9

Sacramento

9

Santa Cruz

9

Mill Valley

About Us

Learn how we can help you build lives that flourish and relationships that thrive

9

Services & Approach

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Policies Insurance Fees

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Careers

Contact Us

About Us

Learn how we can help you build lives that flourish and relationships that thrive

9

Services & Approach

9

Policies Insurance Fees

9

Careers

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Couples
Neurodiverse
Couples Experts
ISM communication drives emotional connection

Our ISM relationship program will accelerate healing, hope, and forward motion in your relationship like nothing else. It integrates yet goes beyond other approaches and brings you the best strategies to achieve your relationship goals.

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We Help Relationships

Neurodiversity, infidelity, lack of intimacy, emotional distance, conflict resolution, culture of negativity, difficult issues

Autism
Autism Help from Silicon Valley
The world's tech hub struggles & thrives with ASD

We know well the challenges of being on the Autism spectrum. We also know the amazing strengths and gifts that ASD can bring. There is a quirkiness and beauty deep in the Autistic mind but it needs to be understood. Like all mindsets there are strengths and challenges. We help accentuate the strengths.

We Help with Autism

Neurodiverse relationships, alexithymia, special interests, social & emotional intelligence, stimming, perseverating, OTRS, Cassandra

ADHD
ADHD & Executive Functioning
A truly holistic treatment approach

Treatment starts with a thorough assessment. We help you understand your challenges and create a treatment plan that may include therapy, Neurofeedback, health education, and a referral for medications. We help you get focused and get back to pursuing your dreams.

We Help with ADHD

Concentrate and do deep work, avoid distraction especially from digital devices, control your emotions or impulses, plan and follow through on what matters to you

Trauma
Military Grade Trauma-Informed Care
Driven by our extensive work with veterans

Trauma can be at the root of many mental health disorders from addiction to depression to relationship struggles. We offer an integrative approach to addressing trauma at its root cause. From EMDR to Neurofeedback to CBT to emotional freedom technique and behavioral strategies we understand the neuroscience behind trauma and can help.

We Help Heal Trauma

Unexplained emotional reactivity, unmanaged triggers, sleep disruption, thoughts that get stuck, intrusive thoughts or flashbacks, high anxiety

Parenting
Positive Parenting
with a Plan
Succeed in the two major tasks of parenting

The first job of parents is to love their children. The second job is to teach, form, and guide them so they know how to live as a responsible happy adults. Our XYZ parenting model provides the structure needed to accomplish these two tasks.

We Help Parents

Empower children, manage oppositional behavior and defiance, teach agency and communion, build family cohesion, and a positive family culture

Families
Family Therapy
Family systems work matters

Whether your family is intact, in transition, or in trouble we can help. Whether your family is blended, nested, or conflicted we have solutions. Stable loving families raise kind, caring, and responsible children. These families don't happen without effort. We can help accelerate your path towards healing, hope, and forward motion for your family.

We Help Families

Reduce tension, address alliances and triangulation, create healthy boundaries, promote a positive values-based culture, reconcile past wounds

Addiction
Digital & Sex Addiction
Coping strategies that don't end well

Addiction is a pleasure seeking strategy to deal with pain. Yet addiction ends up causing more pain than the pain that it tries to run from. An integrative approach to addiction is essential. Addiction is hard to beat once the brain is wired to seek it out when life gets hard. We use a multimodal integrative approach that addresses the individual and the social context in which the individual lives. We promote connection to heal addiction.

We Treat Addiction

Do you play video games, surf the web, or use social media for more than 2 hours per day? Are you ashamed of your porn use but can't stop? Are you isolating, losing sleep, or less effective at life tasks? Have people told you that you may have a problem? Do you find yourself lying despite knowing that it is wrong?

Neurofeedback
Neurofeedback goes beyond talk therapy
Train your brain to be your optimal self

Neurofeedback compliments talk therapy. It trains your brain to resolve your mental health issues faster than with talk therapy alone. There are no side effects and no reason not to try Neurofeedback. It's like going to the gym for your brain and walking away feeling great.

Neurofeedback Helps

ADHD, Addiction, Anxiety, ASD, Emotional overwhelm due to unregulated sensory processing, Headaches, Migraines, Mood disorders, Trauma

Our therapists and coaches, led by Dr. Thomas Lucking, are experts in Asperger’s and Neurodiverse couples. They have helped couples from around the world integrate Asperger challenges into their relationships and thrive.

Neurodiverse Couples are Unique

Asperger’s is unique in the world of couples’ challenges. It is important to work with a coach or therapist experienced with this neurological difference. Many couples struggle with providers who don’t understand the world of Asperger’s and especially the pain of a neurotypical or non-Asperger’s partner who has had years of ongoing trauma. With the right treatment and a motivated couple there is hope. Let us help you navigate the challenging path which can lead to a new way of being in relationship that is fulfilling for both partners.

What is ASD and Asperger’s Syndrome?

Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) is a high functioning form of autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). ASD is comprised of a group of neurodevelopmental disorders that are characterized by two categories of symptoms: repetitive behavior patterns and social impairment. Some symptoms of adults with ASD include:

  • Difficulty making friends
  • Unusual or repetitive use of language
  • Abnormal intense focus on a topic of interest
  • Rigid adherence to routines or rituals
  • Difficulty initiating or sustaining a conversation
  • Impaired ability to be creative or imaginative

Despite these symptoms, people with AS are gifted in many ways. They tend to have a superior intellect and an amazing ability to focus which may lead to impressive accomplishments in life. People with AS have a different kind of brain. Yet it’s the “best kind of different” as Shonda Schilling writes about in her book with the same name. See our resources page to view her book. Please keep in mind that all ASD and AS individuals are unique and will have different levels of severity of symptoms or possibly none at all in some areas. Your provider will assess the presenting behavioral symptoms and gear treatment and coaching towards your specific case.

Neurodiversity – Positives and Negatives

Neurodiveristy is when an Aspie and a neurotypical (NT) person enter into a relationship. When an Asperger adult (Aspie) makes his or her partner their object of obsession it is flattering. A neurotypical (NT) partner can be impressed with the Aspie’s intellect, stability, focus, and accomplishments. Aspie’s appreciate how their NT partner manages social situations and deals with conflict. It can seem like a match made in heaven. Problems with neurodiverse couples surface when the Aspie’s object of focus moves away from his or her partner. It is when this happens that the differences in each partner seem more problematic than complementary. Part of treatment is processing the emotional wounds that have accumulated over the years due to social disconnect. These wounds can be experienced as:

  • No reciprocity in communication
  • Avoidance of conflict
  • Stonewalling and shifting blame
  • Unwillingness to compromise and be flexible
  • Disregard for family chores and tasks
  • Feelings of frustration and loneliness
  • Lack of empathy and fundamental disparity in how each partner feels about emotions

Over time these painful relationship patterns can gradually destroy the relationship.

Healing Wounded Neurodiverse Relationships

With proper treatment or coaching and investment by both partners it is possible for neurodiverse couples to have a sustainable, rewarding, and fulfilling relationship that celebrates the good and manages the challenging aspects of their different personality characteristics. It is critical to work with a therapist or coach that understands Asperger’s. For example it is a mistake to believe that AS adults cannot feel empathy. Silicon Valley Therapy therapists and coaches have helped many neurodiverse couples get to an experience of empathy from both partners. It takes work and practice and depends on the Aspie’s symptomatic acuity but emotional progress is possible.

Hope and Change Through Coaching and Therapy

The perceived rigidity and self-focus of the AS partner can change – there is hope. The therapy work we do together will create hope right from the start. This happens through understanding, awareness, and accountability. The first step is to create an individualized treatment or coaching plan for your specific needs. Immediate crises are addressed up front along with a thorough assessment of your collective and individual histories. From there the work begins as we do cognitive and experiential exercises to create a new way of being in relationship together. The therapy and coaching work with your provider is not limited to weekly or biweekly sessions. Homework is assigned to keep the progress moving forward outside of session. This is done in a collaborative way so the speed of change is appropriate for each partner and couple. Creating new was of relating must go beyond the cognitive realm and into real behavior change. For this reason your provider includes many behavioral exercises designed to increase intimacy. Your provider offers an objective, supportive, caring, and curious presence in your relationship. He or she will exemplify the 8 qualities of the self, commonly called the 8 C’s of the self, that is stated within Internal Family Systems theory:

  • Calmness
  • Curiosity
  • Clarity
  • Compassion
  • Confidence
  • Creativity
  • Courage
  • Connectedness

Medications and Co-occurring Disorders

There are no medications for Asperger’s but there are medications for other symptoms that can be co-occurring to Asperger’s. Anxiety, depression, OCD, addiction, and psychosis are examples of co-occurring conditions that may warrant medication. If hyperactivity or impulsivity are present in an Asperger individual it may mean they need medication to treat an attention deficit disorder such as ADD or ADHD. Behavioral or substance use addictions (alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, etc.) are also cases where additional treatment or coaching may be necessary. Silicon Valley Therapy providers are skilled in many of these areas and also works with a board certified psychiatrist to assist with assessment and prescriptions for medications.

Diagnoses and Assessments

How do you know you or your partner has Asperger’s Syndrome? As with many diagnoses, Asperger symptoms occur on a spectrum and each Aspie is different. While professional nuero-psychological testing is the most reliable for determining a diagnoses, it can be costly. Another option is to use online assessments to get a reasonable understanding of the presence of Asperger’s. The following two tests are free to take and don’t require any account registration. Your provider will look at your results to help you understand them as an initial step towards determining a diagnosis of Asperger’s:  

Statistics

5 most frequent relationship problem areas: communication (63%), unrealistic expectations of marriage or spouse (62%), finances (60%), decision making (55%), power struggles (51%) (Stahmann, R. F., & Heibert, W. J. (1997))

Quotes

Do you want to be right or in relationship?
– Thomas Lucking, PhD
Dialogue is not meant to resolve differences. Dialogue is meant to allow differences. – Pastor Clement
If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together. – African Proverb

Testimonials

“Since my partner and I have known each other (about 20 years) I think we’ve never communicated like we did last session. I believe in synchronicity and people showing up in life at the right time. Meeting Dr. Lucking has been a moment of synchronicity for us.”
– Couples client